We’ve definitely shifted away from the monogamous days of two humans connecting, sharing with and caring for each other.
Love these days is a guy in a bar trying to bag the hot chick on the adjacent stool. It’s quick and easy sex, the death of chivalry and of fidelity.
And it’s a slippery slope. Eventually, sexual encounters will only be casual affairs between baby mommas and baby daddies. Marriage will all but die out in a generation of divorce, and curiosity will outweigh faithfulness – because we’re rooted in the belief that the grass is always greener on the other side, and there’s nothing some mollies and Avicii tunes can stop us from doing, no matter how much we love our girlfriends.
But this leaves us stranded in the toughest of predicaments, because as much as we love to be a promiscuous bunch, test the waters with diverse pussy and collect the stories that come out of it – we at some point or another have to acknowledge the end of our reign and retire our jersey.
We will eventually want to settle down with someone. As humans, intrinsically we crave bonds and connections – we are social creatures by nature. We (eventually) want to share other moments beyond pulling her hair and making her look back at it.
The experience is something similar to giving a baby a computer when all he knows is toys. He will go back to his toys. And that’s the mindset our generation is stuck in. Sure, we may have moved on, but we have set the standard pretty high for the next person to come around – hoping she might be as perfect as the first one.
The truth is, that’s impossible – everyone is replaceable, but you will never find anyone as perfect as the person you loved for the first time – which is why the first cut is the deepest.
You’ve made it so no one could be good enough to compete with her, they’ll never be at the same par as this infallible figure you’ve erected in your head. So you stop trying. We all tell ourselves that we want someone perfect, but that unachievable feat can’t possibly exist in the real world.
We’re setting ourselves up for failure. Perfection isn’t objective; it varies in perception. I think the perfect girl would wake me up with a morning BJ and never send me off to bed hungry. Someone else’s perfect might be multiple piercings and a back tattoo.
It’s based purely on preference, and that preference is defined and created in the wake of our first love, attempting to carry onto the next. That’s why they’re rebounds and space fillers. They are standing in for this idealized construction of perfection – unfortunately it doesn’t exist.
You need to open your eyes. You won’t achieve perfection. Your first girlfriend won’t come back to you; your life isn’t a Disney movie. There will never be anyone else like her – no one will ever smell like her, touch like her, bite her fingers when she’s nervous or call you by the same pet name (other than “babe”).
Perfect doesn’t exist in this world, and unfortunately what each of us finds perfect, we will never be able to find again – because someone else will be enjoying our perfect.
This leaves most of us aimlessly searching for something that doesn’t exist, not giving anyone we meet a chance because we’ve stacked the qualifications so high in what we want and require as our perfect. We keep putting it off and off, saying we won’t settle down – but, essentially, that leaves us all alone. A friend of mine is now 30 and so stubborn that he refuses to settle with any other girl who isn’t exactly like his first love.
We, collectively, have issues moving on, and as much as we swear we have – because it has been so long – we refuse to tell the truth to ourselves. We need to actually move on, we need to forget about our perfect and hit the reset button on that function in our minds.
We need to give other people a chance and not be so stubborn, hiding behind these imaginary walls we’ve erected around ourselves. We need to create a new perfect. We have to forget what was or what could have been and focus on what is.
~Guys In The Know
Are We All Just Looking For Someone That Doesn’t Exist?
You’ve forgotten your ex: Ever since you met your new friend/ hookup buddy, however, the thought of getting back with your ex is the furthest thing from what’s going through your head. Come to think of it, you can barely remember what you found so great about your ex in the first place.
If she is the last thing on your mind before you go to sleep and the first thing on your mind when you wake up– and you’ve even dreamed of them on a couple of occasions– then you don’t really even need to read on to know if you’re in love (but should anyway, ya know just to be sure).
Essentially, there are two types of women that work out in the gym: the mutes and the chatterers. Knowing one from the other will help you focus the right charm and the correct moves on the woman you want with minimal trial and error.
Smile and speak. A simple “Hi” or “Hello” will do. Then leave her alone for the rest of the workout — unless she invites you to talk more or even workout with her. This creates mystery and separates you from the pack.
The guys in the know says that, while it’s easy to just focus on a woman’s body, learn her body language instead. Look at how she stands, how she interacts with others and how she moves with her music. Observe how self-conscious she may appear and how much chatter she engages in. Reading her level of comfort will let you know how approachable she is when you see her walk in. When you see her relaxing and comfortable, move in and be the face she is used to seeing around.
You’ve built a rapport, so go for the invitation out. Include her and her friends out for a drink of coffee. Be confident and lead off with: “Hey, I’d like you and your friends to meet me out for coffee this week. How’s Thursday?”
Researchers from Italy investigated the contrasting reports on whether training in a fasting condition enchances weight loss. 8 healthy young men performed early morning slow cardio under 2 conditions: